This past week, I reached two and a half years of “sobriety” from my pornography addiction, which I was enslaved to for about 13 years – half of my life!
It’s amazing how much things have changed.
Practically all men have viewed pornography in their lives. 10% of those men don’t find it very tempting and rarely look at it. 90% have looked at pornography at least once this year. Most, much more than once. And about half of that 90% show signs of “addiction” or “dependence” on it.
And, when it comes to Christian men, the figures are exactly the same. Pornography affects Christian and Non-Christian men at the exact same rate.
I was one of those men. When I accepted Christ into my heart, it was mainly because I was hoping it would break my addiction. But when my faith wasn’t enough, I gave up fighting. Then, I spiraled out of control and took one step over a line I should never have crossed.
It changed my life. Praise God for that screw up!
People may never look at my life and be jealous of it. And I can’t honestly say I don’t wish a few things were different.
But one thing I can say is that I am, maybe for the first time in my life since I was 10, happy with myself. I’ve got other flaws, sure. But I was once so dependent on an addiction that I couldn’t function without it, and now, I haven’t given into that temptation in over two years and half years. I’ve beaten something that few men will.
And I owe it all to trusting God’s confusing, and sometimes frustrating, plans.
If we trust God, if we do what he says, follow the rules laid out for us, and just believe that everything is going to work towards good, we will be blessed in the end. It might not feel like it during the hard times, but through every hard time I’ve faced, looking back, I can see how it was necessary. Worth it.
This is just the beginning for me. I know that God has so much more planned for my future.
And I just can’t wait to see what it is.